Should one just call it a day on certain relationships ?

Ive recently found out, no relationship is easy.

Whether its friendship or marital, there is a lot of compromise,  sacrifices, the joys, the disappointment,  the happiness and sometimes . . . .the end of a relationship. 

I dont know about anyone of you but Ike yourselves, i make friends easily but it takes me months to get to know someone before we exchange phone numbers, or meet socially . . . .I like to walk not run. I dont trust people quickly and never say anything aloud that I don't mind being repeated or questioned upon. I dont really believe in accelerated friendships where everything just happens too fast, and then suddenly you realise you not really compatible and it becomes awkward trying to back away from the friendship.  

Marital relationship is simple but also complex . . .I know, sounds funny. 

It's the different stages that one has to experience.  The exciting getting to know each other stage where you listen and question all, to learn about the other person and them about you.

 After a few years you are comfortable in each other's company,  almost knowing what each other thinks and wants without saying . . .sort of telepathic.

Children may or may not come along and they take up a big chunk of your time, whilst you still trying to maintain your personal relationship with each other, cos let's face it, when the children have grown up and ready to fly the nest . . . .it will be just the two of you. You dont want to become strangers, you must still show an interest in each other, find new things to explore and do together,  surprise yourself every now and then. 

At times you will simply sit in silence, a comfort silence where you dont need to think about what to say or say anything at all, just sit in silence.

Unfortunately there may come a time when you no longer feel the same way and sometimes you just dont know why. This is time for thought and deep reflection on your whole relationship.  Why do you feel this way ? What can you do about it ?  Is there anything you can do, individually or together. I feel if youve invested in the relationship for so long, you ought to give your best shot to try and keep it together, find techniques to help the both of you, sit, talk, if needed . . . .relationship therapy. 

Relationship therapy is so underestimated, you are listened to, not criticised or judged upon what you say,  and advised accordingly. As with anything else, therapy can only help you if you are open, honest and actually want the therapy. There's no point bottling everything up and then it all comes out when you least expect it, usually doing a lot of damage to your relationship. Therapy is not for everyone and can only help you if you want it to. Very individual. 

Unfortunately sometimes things do not work out, youve simply drifted apart so far, its not retrievable. 

If you not happy, maybe best to part than feel sad being together . . . .easier said than done as you have bonded so deeply throughout the years. Not every separation has to be unpleasant, ive known people separate and still be good friends.

I would be interested to hear about anyone experiences or thoughts on the matter. We can always learn from each other. 

As I said, relationships are hard, easy to let wither away but very hard to maintain.

People are very different,  different upbringing,  morals, principles,  and everyone has to make a choice and decide whats best for them.

Thank you for reading.